Saturday, November 8, 2008

Mortifying Mommy Moments

For every old lady who has commented to me on how wonderful and sweet my children are, I dedicate this story to you. This evening I needed to go to Target and JoAnns. We aren't talking major overload the cart grocery shopping here, so you'd think my kids could handle an hour in public. But noooo. Ten minutes into Target, I'm browsing the clearance racks for a new top and hear my girls fighting. I kid you not, when I looked over there they were, rolling around on the floor wrestling over a shoe. Literally wrestling! On the floor, in a crowded Target. After they get the whispering shouting from me, they proceed to hide behind the racks of clothes against the back wall and pull ALL of the clothes off. Seriously. McKenzie is almost 8. We picked up the things we needed and cruised through toys (my new Gregory bribery). The entire time I'm telling Hailey stay off the cart. Don't hang on the cart you'll tip it over. Get off of the cart. Over and over and over. Hailey is either hanging off the cart tipping it onto 2 wheels, or running off leaving me yelling at her like some bad mom who can't keep track of her wayward child. Who I'd like to add is almost 6 and knows better.

Needless to say by the time we get to JoAnns I'm not impressed. I only needed 2 things for a project. Get in, get out. Immediately Hailey starts hanging off the cart again. The JoAnns carts are teeny tiny and tip easily. And Connor is sitting in the front. We're standing in the notions aisle and I tell her for millionth time to get off the cart now! As soon as she hops off, I turn to get what I need. I've got my hands full while I compare items, when out of the corner of my eye I see the cart moving in a weird way. I turn just in time to see the cart tipping over, towards the handle with Hailey scrambling to get out of its way before it lands on her. All I can see is poor Connor's head headed towards the concrete floor. I drop everything, grab him like an inch from the ground, and just went balistic psycho mommy on Hailey. I was so ticked off at the kid I couldn't see straight. I didn't realize how loudly I was yelling at her until I looked up to see a woman standing at the end of the aisle with wide eyes and her mouth hanging open. She's just staring at me like I'm a crazed drug addict who's beating her child. Lest you think I have completely lost it I wasn't saying anything mean just the usual "HAILEY HUISMAN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH THE CART! variety of yelling. There may have been some strong, shaking finger pointing going on also. I was angry and it scared the crap out of me. So I take it down to scary mommy whisper-yelling and find her a time out corner until I stop seeing red.

So now you're thinking "man that's embarrassing" glad it wasn't me. But wait, it gets worse. Instead of high tailing it out of there like I maybe should have, I get what I came for. If I drag all those kids into a store I'm getting what I came for. When I walk up to the cutting table every one is literally staring at me. They aren't even trying to hide it. I asked if they heard me yelling and of course they all did. I explained what had happened, but the staring continued. I was trying to be all cool and funny about it, but I think I just came off as lame. And of course the woman at the end of the aisle who witnessed it all was there too. I'm sure as soon as I left she told everyone else about the crazy drug mommy who screamed like a banshy at her kid. One of the employees was on the phone, and I was sure she was calling the police for the first couple of minutes, until I heard her talking about fabric. Then the checkout lady looked at me all weird, and when I asked, she of course had heard it too. I'm pretty sure the whole store heard me screaming at Hailey. I give her an abbreviated version of the story and call the kids who have of course all disappeared. They come flying to the front, Hailey totally body checked Greg on the way, sending him flying. And of course everyone nearby happened to be watching this too. I felt slightly vindicated like "Hey see she is wild its not just me."

I realize some of you probably skimmed my rambling because I'm obviously venting here. The jist of my blog is this: my kids are not suited for public appearances. They act like animals and I totally lost my temper (and don't feel too bad about it). I was horribly embarrassed.
The rest of you are probably thinking "um Liz isn't this what happens everytime you take your kids out?" Sadly yes. Sometimes the truth hurts.

5 comments:

Heather said...

This is why I try to avoid JoAnn's at all cost with more than 1 kid. So sorry that all happened to you. The lady who witnessed it all could have had some sympathy and actually asked you if you needed help. I would have started yelling also, even though yelling usually doesn't change anything, just makes us feel better...or sometimes...just bad!

Smelly Moose said...

Ahh, good times. I can barely handle it with two, I don't know if I'll ever go out in public with 4!!! We just need to swap kids for a few hours once a week so we can get errands done without kids!!! That's my solution :) I've been in similar situations though and know exactly how you feel! Ah, the joys of motherhood!

Shaila Lou said...

Ugh, how embarrassing. I totally would have reacted the same way. When the baby is put in danger, scary!

I hate going out with all 3 kids. Somedays it's totally fine, other days, the older boys won't stop fighting. Needless to say, I stay home a lot these days. Plus, it stresses me out to interrupt my babies naps!

shurnuandbeagsly said...

Right...um, I keep promising myself that I won't scream at my kids, and then I look away for a minute and Eli has poured ULTRA Dawn all over the kitchen. Tell me it's not that bad, but I don't believe it.
Liz, you're human and have busy (though wonderful) kids. Maybe someday they won't be this way anymore. Sigh..we can only hope. Oh wait, I have an 11 year old that is still a problem in public...forget them growing out of it!

Campbells said...

I am so sorry, and I agree with sharon, I am always promising myself I will stop yelling at the kids until Sa pushes jack from a standing position and I tell her to come here and she runs off and when I get to her, she kicks me in the face! I wasn't really mad until she kicked me! SO, I totally understand. Someday they will be grown ups and we will miss these days of chasing them around the store(my hang all over the cart too even when I say to get off)