Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Farts are funny

I knew this day would come. I naively thought my sweet little boy would forever be innocent. He'd never be like those other little boys that think every bodily funtion is absolutely hysterical. We wouldn't have conversations about poop, farts, and bums. Wrong. Greg has always liked to keep me posted on his every move, which now includes farting. I'll be cleaning in one room and Greg will come flying "Mom I farted!" grinning away. Then he'll wait expectantly for an answer. I usually muster up a sarcastic "great" all the while wondering exactly what it is he's waiting for.

Now everything can be made even funnier. Peanut butter and fart sandwiches! Poop snacks! Its never ending. Today he was eating a fruit by the foot and I noticed there was trivia on the paper as he ate it. I asked "hey Greggers, can I read your paper while you eat?" He said "Yeah you can read my pooper mom." Then busted out laughing. "I said pooper!" hahahaha. "Mom read my pooper!" hahaha For the next twenty minutes I could hear him randomly say to himself "read my pooper" then chuckle and shake his head. Seriously where did this child come from? When he plays with his friend David their conversations somehow have poop and farts attached to every comment.

I had also hoped to somehow avoid that other magical boy right of passage, peeing everywhere. I have taken great care to teach Greg how to pee, sitting on the toilet backwards, so he doesn't get it everywhere. I figured in a year or two he could learn about peeing standing. I told him peeing stading was only for outside. A week or two ago Dave taught him to pee standing. After he peed all over the wall at the occupational therapists I told him he should only pee standing when we were at the store. Obviously that didn't work since peeing standing is far cooler. Now when he's preparing to go he begins by pointing it up at the ceiling! When I yell frantically "point it down! point it down!", he sighs then dejectedly says "yeah" before properly taking aim. I'm a little concerned that he's set himself some secret goal of hitting the ceiling. One day when he doesn't want me in there anymore I'm a little scared of what I'll find.