Sunday, April 5, 2009

Winco: land of the insomniacs

After many attempts to go to Winco only to be intimidated by giant crowds, long lines, and zero shopping cars I decided to go late at night. I mean really I'm not willing to endure day after Thanskgiving like crowds for groceries. My thinking was that at 11:30 at night who's really going to be there? Try a ton of people. It looked like the middle of the day. Tons of employees and shoppers with full carts. In Moscow if you went late at night it was your and the drunk frat guys, apparantly I am not the lone insommniac in the valley. There are many of us, there should be a club. It may be crowded but I have to say $150 for a whole cart of groceries, can't beat that.

So I was reading this LDS Living link about conference tips to keep your kids happy so you can enjoy conference. They were obviously written for naturally calm children or maybe those heavily medicated on Ridalin. Since I have neither I made my own (for normal families)
1. Add Benadryl to kids morning juice
2. Tie them to bed so they don't get out when Benadryl wears off
3. Glue babies feet to floor, see how long it takes him to notice ( or in our case his butt)
4. Send oldest to corner convenience store with 10 bucks and a bike trailer to buy them all slurpees
5. Announce you're cleaning the living room and they are welcome to stay and help
6. Ask who wants to go check the mail then lock the door
7. Tell them to all get in the car to go get icecream, don't mention in 2 hours. If its cold run the car for a bit.
8. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (its over 2 hours long!)
9. Stand at the top of the stairs and yell "hey does someone want to come help me?" no one will emerge for at least an hour
10. Kava kava is supposed to be very calming........
Obviously I wouldn't try some of these (well I do give my kids Benedryl to travel) but does anyone else feel like you have to go to great lengths to listen to conference? what about those nice kids that play General Authority bingo while they listen (listen what's that?) where do I find those? Is there some secret vitamin pregnant women take to get them? Tonight in the health food section, I actually read the back of the melatonin and valerian root to see if I could give a half dose to my 6 year old. I swear going to find some natural calming supplement and start adding it to their drinks or something. I don't think calm is in their vocabulary. I may be an insomniac don't think I was ever a human tornado. Where did these kids come from?